Let's look at our painful but probably prayerful options through this viewpoint: Who is your "ex" to God?
The God we serve is a God of Long Suffering Reconciliation, (of which this daughter is proof) and He has given us (if we answer to His Son and to the Holy Spirit) this primary Ministry of Reconciliation as well.
If OT and NT Christians are our example, reconciliation is accomplished when some level of relationship is restored . . . each has released the other from the pains and debts of the past and can fellowship comfortably. Ideally the relationship itself (friend/friend; husband/wife; father/son) is restored fully as well.
My walk with God may be unique; but He seems determined to limit my input to and cooperation with this process to what He wants me to do and to think about and to repair. And He sets the bar high.
My first and greatest hurdle is always my own hurt. I suspect this is especially true of women, because we are more easily and deeply wounded by others. Emotional wounds have physical pains; and these cry to my thoughts day and night, preventing the Godly DESIRE for reconciliation on any level. The longer and deeper the investment in another, and the greater the acts of betrayal; the greater the pain that drives me away from forgiveness.
For someone as touchy and stubborn as I am, it usually takes a long season of fellowship in bible study, the conviction upon gentle conviction of devotionals and pastoral messages, and tenderizing in tearful worship services before I can even hear God with the right heart attitude about someone who has offended or betrayed me. But just as He is healing my newly injured foot one cell and one layer at a time (which burns!) I begin to see that the pain IS the healing and I agree to cooperate with the treatment (which burns!).
Beware those who indulge your grudges and encourage your grievances about another. Seek the wisdom and spiritual maturity of those who have rebuilt, restored, and made restitutiion -- even to those who have been the greater transgressor. They have honored their God.
Beware the previously married man or woman who has yet to come to that place in their divorce diatribe where they can speak of how they wounded the other party. They are wounded still and have refused treatment. They are not able to honor anyone.
The God we serve is a God of Long Suffering Reconciliation, (of which this daughter is proof) and He has given us (if we answer to His Son and to the Holy Spirit) this primary Ministry of Reconciliation as well.
If OT and NT Christians are our example, reconciliation is accomplished when some level of relationship is restored . . . each has released the other from the pains and debts of the past and can fellowship comfortably. Ideally the relationship itself (friend/friend; husband/wife; father/son) is restored fully as well.
My walk with God may be unique; but He seems determined to limit my input to and cooperation with this process to what He wants me to do and to think about and to repair. And He sets the bar high.
My first and greatest hurdle is always my own hurt. I suspect this is especially true of women, because we are more easily and deeply wounded by others. Emotional wounds have physical pains; and these cry to my thoughts day and night, preventing the Godly DESIRE for reconciliation on any level. The longer and deeper the investment in another, and the greater the acts of betrayal; the greater the pain that drives me away from forgiveness.
For someone as touchy and stubborn as I am, it usually takes a long season of fellowship in bible study, the conviction upon gentle conviction of devotionals and pastoral messages, and tenderizing in tearful worship services before I can even hear God with the right heart attitude about someone who has offended or betrayed me. But just as He is healing my newly injured foot one cell and one layer at a time (which burns!) I begin to see that the pain IS the healing and I agree to cooperate with the treatment (which burns!).
Beware those who indulge your grudges and encourage your grievances about another. Seek the wisdom and spiritual maturity of those who have rebuilt, restored, and made restitutiion -- even to those who have been the greater transgressor. They have honored their God.
Beware the previously married man or woman who has yet to come to that place in their divorce diatribe where they can speak of how they wounded the other party. They are wounded still and have refused treatment. They are not able to honor anyone.
