Dear Spoken For ~

In this part of God's Country, Abba is speaking to the church about His son's passionate, pure romance with each earthly fiancee for whom He suffered so unspeakably. That may be you. It's definately me.
And what sort of Princess Bride am I you wonder? Well, frankly, if Jesus were to reveal our courtship these past four seasons, it would be fair to say that I daily left Him standing at the altar.
Sadly, remorsefully, I have become aware that I devoted so much time and energy to one magical earthly courtship that I sorely neglected My First True Love. And now that earthly courtship has vanished . . . like a jetstream across a summer sky. There is not so much as a trace of it left, and this leaves me stunned and speechless still.
Who is there to disolve lumps of woe from my throat? Who restores the crushed coronaries of my heart?  Who strengthens me for my weekly work with Heavenly Joy and loans me moment to moment a Holy Tenderness I do not feel to continue to pray for the one who is gone?

Who but my Perfect Prince would desire this fickle fiancee?

Rarely do I endorse a specific item that displays on on my blog store; but I have intentionally placed an image of the book that God used to open my eyes to the truth of how I was handling my desire for a mate. It's humbling to realize that these two young people ~ half my age ~  have twice my wisdom about how to express true faith in this area. I read this little gem in one night and then tucked a note from Mom inside and gave it to my 18 year old son who discovered young women last year. How I pray he has the wisdom to read it, own it, use it. And then I pray he will give it to his older sisters. Beg, borrow, or -- always better -- BUY this for yourself today as a gift. See if you have the faith to surrender this one choice that will mean the whole world of difference for every other meaningful choice across your life line. Dearest Jesus, How I wish I had.

Fasting . . . Exposing True Fellowship

The word of God does indeed taste as sweet as chocolate covered carmel popcorn today. Here's my personalization of some verses he illuminated for me today from John 1 and 2 .

Triune God IS light . . .  illumination. He IS holiness, purity. In Triune God, there is no evil, falseness, darkness, or obscurity.

If I say that I am cultivating a loving relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but I make decisions and speak and act day after day as any other unbeliever, I deceive myself. If I say, "I have no willful disobedience (sin)", I also deceive myself; the truth is not in me. If, on the other hand, I hand over my faults and failures (sins), God is trustworthy and sure to pardon them. If I say that I have not offended God (by offending others?) I make Triune God a liar; and his Eternal Intelligence is not in me.

My precious daughter, these things are written to you so that you will not willfully disobey. When you do, however, you have One -- Jesus Christ --  who comes forward to speak on your behalf when you face judgement from your Heavenly Father. You have One -- Jesus Christ -- who is able to encourage you, who helps you, who pleads on your behalf. Jesus is your Reconciler, your Appeaser, your Everlasting Relationship Restorer . . . and not just yours . . . but every other brother's and sister's in the family of God as well. Therefore, if you say today, "I am holy and pure as God is holy and pure" and yet hurt or harm or hate another Christian brother or sister, you are blinded by your own ignorance.

How do I know that I know this Jesus? If I carry out His orders! If I say I know Him (LORD) and refuse to carry out His orders, I am a traitor. Whoever chooses this day to carry out God's orders is His true soldier and possesses the mature, sacrificial, Agape love of Triune God.

So, precious daughter, cease from indulging yourself in and devoting yourself to the endless desires of the body and and of everything you see in this world. FAST! Surrender your self-righteous and self-serving heart attitudes, your 'braggadocio', your 'claim to fame'. These are all insignificant when exposed to the unimaginable joy of living eternally with the Father and Son and Holy Spirit.

Live hand in hand with Jesus, precious child, so that when He comes again He will be proud to call you HIS Jewell, a true servant and a royal daughter of the King of Kings.

Failing Fast at Fasting ~ A Memo to Myself

Oh Dear, Abba ~

How revealing this first fasting attempt has turned out to be! No let me be more transparent . . . It was a disaster.

I 'started over' every day this week, and I still have not managed to surrender myself for a full 24 hours to even this 'baby fast' of one meal a day, with lots of liquids throughout the day. I probably should have defined "liquids" as water only; because I'm apparently quite capable of 'pigging out' on tomato soup.

Maybe starting a fast the week before your birthday . . . or during Rodeo Week . . . or during the summer has special challenges I didn't anticipate. Am I really this calendar driven?

Do we commemorate everything on the calendar with food? I kid you not, I could easily eat 3,000 calories a day in this town just from all the free food offered everywhere by everyone, especially during the summer. Summer in Sheridan, Wyoming is just one long outdoor party interrupted by work and wind. 

And when did I become a NIBBLER? I'm constantly putting something in my mouth, even when I'm not the least big hungry. It's entertainment!

Speaking of which, Dear Readers . . . remember my prayerful vow to my Heavently Father about television? When did THAT become an automatic environmental necessity? Because I work nights and days (one or the other or both) six or seven days a week, I'm not home much. But as soon as I get into my cozy, safe haven, the  FIRST thing I do after I put my purse down is jab the button on my TV. I even sleep with it on! {poorly, He adds}

Is this the value of a 'first fast'? To discover what an unconsciously carnal Christian I've let myself become?

Well, Dear Abba, if revealing all this has some value to You, then do I have a new Book of Revelations to run by You . . .  {sigh}

By the way, Dear Readers, in spite of this total failure, I was totally and magically blessed by the Triune God who imagineered one of the loveliest and fullest early birthdays I've ever had on His planet. And, happily for me, He recruited a lot of humble help from the future Pilot of Universe One.

{God's Extra Best, MTBBF ~ Montana wins . . . again.}

Dear First Faster ~

My Cherished Abba ~ Father God ~

Because you are wise AND perfectly loving, I chose to turn over in trust my entire physical being. I give you cheerful permission to tell me when to sleep and when to rise, even if you choose to interrupt my sleep or require me to rest when I’d rather be watching TV. I give you eager permission to direct the first thought and action of each day.  I give you deliberate permission to direct my diet and exercise each morning, day and evening; so that I have enough energy for the demands and sacrifices of that day. I give you parental permission to tell me to put away any childish things or unhealthy habits, or unhealthy attitudes, including caffeine, sugar, junk food, television, snack foods, soda pop, salty foods, fatty foods and any others I have failed to mention.  I promise to trust that you will provide enough time for whatever you have in mind for the rest of that day. I give you eager permission to direct me to the people you wish for me to serve and to interact with each day as well as those you wish for me to avoid or reduce my interaction with even if you direct me to people I don’t particularly care for and tell me to avoid those that I particularly enjoy. I give you friendly permission to suggest to me your preferences for anything you put at my disposal, including my money, my vehicle, my talents, my home, my resources, and my work. I give you loving, grateful permission to add to this prayer of dedication anything you wish I had included.

Dear First Faster ~

This week, I was challenged myself by your trepidation; so I have decided to take the advice I found in a new study I am doing with 'family members' at my church. The authors proposed that we each write a "Prayer of Dedication" to God in preparation for a fast  (Step 1) and then Determine the "Privation" of the fast . . . that is, determine what it is in which you will de-prive your SELF during your fast. Some deprivations mentioned are (beyond food or meals) television and other "vidiot" time;  sleep or rest (in favor of study and/or exercise). I decided to share my prayer below so that you can see that God actually suggested privations as I wrote the prayer! (hmmmm) Before a single day had past, he had directed someone to me to tell me to add alfalfa (or wheat grass) to my diet, to turn off the television when I'm sleeping (or at least cover the light that it puts out) to start paying attention to how much sweet and salty snack foods I was sliding into my diet, and prompting me to park my car in one location downtown and WALK from place to place during the business day. I also noticed I watched more "health" shows like Dr OZ on TV instead of toxic "junk" shows. And it seems no matter what Christian station I punch in, everyone seems to be discussing a fast! (hmmmmm) So I hope that's encouraging to you as you prepare for this first spiritual blessing and journey with me!

My Prayer of Dedication to You, Abba Father

DEAD END ON DIVORCE DRIVE

Well, dear Golden Years Sister ~ Your terrible temptation has certainly kept my prayer life active this week. As promised, I prayed for you and yours all this week; and God had plenty to say in return. I hope you won't turn a hardened heart to His responses but will come to see that He is "secretly plotting for your good" if you will only lean to His understanding and run from your own.

For the rest of you, please know that my sister is wrestling with the ultimate moral issue of our generation . . . Divorce. The enemy has certainly found a highly successful secret path to sin in the one area our Savior treasures most. How would I know that? Because in His tender Word, He tells me that my earthly marriage is the mirror of His to me -- and a model of His devotion to His church family. How Satan must gloat to God that marital commitment among spouses in His own family is just as dim and marred and broken as that of spouses who are not yet part of His family. How Jesus must grieve to see nearly half of His family torn apart each year one household at a time.

As I was praying for my Sister and her unbelieving spouse of 30 some years this week, pastors on every radio station and through every devotional were speaking directly to the heart of this highly rationalized sin of entitlement, of disobedience, of bitterness and unforgiveness.

Divorce -- the abortion of mature emotional, spiritual, and physical union --  is the Valley of Tears that truly reveals for us and in us everything for which God allows us to endure a trial. It reveals my true love (me). It reveals my true faith (weak). It reveals what I truly believe about the Power of my Commander in Chief and His WORD. (inneffective). It reveals my own spiritual strength (weak and unwilling to exercise). It reveals my true motives (self-ish) and my perspective (temporal). Feel free to add to these from your own testimony . . . These are just mine. These revelations are especially grim when viewed from the mountaintop of our spoiled-rotten American culture, which gives us permission to indulge in all of these carnal attitudes of the heart.

What CAN we do to resist the temptation to leave our lawfully and spiritually wedded spouse, especially if they appear to be at best indifferent to us and to the ministry of marriage. If the battle is won in the mind and in the heart; then we must, dear Christian Sister, give our minds and hearts over whole heartedly to the Holy Spirit of God.

Here, in that humble place, softened by the Love and Mercy of God where we bend our knee and our will, we are reminded to "think on these things . . . " Do you know what they are? Do you know what they aren't? Here we may be asked, "What if this is the only ministry I give you while you are here?" "What if this is the one thing I wanted you to do well for Me?" "What will be your testimony of this trial for others?"

Wherever you find yourself on this painful path today, Dear Sister (and Brother), I promise you there is no rainbow or relief when you reach the end of Divorce Drive. It is the DEAD end of all dead ends. God has paved no blessings into this boulevard. Mercy, forgiveness, and regret may be the best from God that you get.

What's the worse that could happen, dear Sister, if you devote yourself for this lifetime as you promised to someone you already once cared for and whose only heaven may be right here on earth? That you might leave this moment of a life without a lovely romantic memory? Will you really pursue that sentimental mirage only to lose an eternity of, "Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant?"

Dear Recent Graduate ~

Yes it's true that "go out and make your mark" may seem a little trite at the tender age of 17. Perhaps something I heard on the radio will give you a new look at what this expression might mean down the road. (And those of you who are 17 a few times over might want to check this out too!)
A Colorado pastor put forth this stunning challenge on a Christian radio broadcast (CCN) this week.
[For those of you who can tune this in, CNN stands for Calvary Chapel Network and Calvary Chapel is a non-denominational ministry that grew out of the "Jesus Movement" of the 60's when Greg Lowrie and his wife were called to minister to the hippies of California. Pastors from Calvary Chapels all over Rocky Mountain Region prepare messages each and every day to share with those of us who are lucky enough to have a Christian Radio Station that sponsors CNN. This commercial break is long overdue, given the blessing this ministry is to me each and every day of each and every year.]

At any rate, Colorado Pastor Ron (I think) dropped this spiritual bomb:
If you could do your own self portrait in only three brush strokes, what would that image look like?
After a month or two of progressively unethical drama and angst with a certain self-serving "trainer" who was tasked to "help" me with my new business, I can assure you that his image looks like this: $ 
There's no better challenge I can give you, dear graduate, than to ask yourself now, "What do I want my mark to look like 17 years down the road? And then 17 more years further?"
I don't think anyone, even a pagan salesman, deliberately sets out to paint a mark that looks like $
It happens the same way you succeed in boiling a frog alive before it can jump out of the pan. Just turn up the heat (or in this case turning your conscience OFF) one degree at a time.
So go out an Make Your Mark! Make it look like this + with another stroke of your own for joy.
God's Best.

Dear Self ~ Coming to Terms

Well, dear fans, here's what I've learned, both hopeful and discouraging, from my experience with parental passing . . .
One of the main things that comes between siblings and causes "dysfunction" is a total failing of one party or both to understand that each child in a family, no matter how close in age, has their own unique relationship with each of their parents.
In many ways, my brothers and I grew up in "different families"; and some of my brothers who had a much more positive experience have a curious and contentious need for me to disown my own strained relationship as though it was not "real". I'm thinking this might ring true for some of you. The strain can lead to guilt, and denial, and other unnecessary feelings as others pressure you to go back and "rewrite" your personal history so that it matches up to the Norman Rockwell experiences of others.
The sad truth is, my Dad, who was passionate about his work and career, turned out to be a wonderful and memorable mentor for hundreds of other kids and young adults throughout the state of Colorado. One of them, who went on to be a nationally acclaimed public speaker, gave the eulogy at my Dad's funeral; and later at the reception he was quick to admit to me that we -- his real kids -- must have sacrificed a lot in order for my father to have been that involved with others. I am grateful for this man's perceptive realization; and I assured him that this was truer than he will ever know.
Being the only girl in this family of Future Farmers of America, I shared my Dad more than the rest. Two of my brothers were actively involved in his program in high school; and all of them were actively involved in his hands-on, project-oriented parenting program, which generally involved power tools, paint brushes and push brooms. And even though I yearned and aspired to be the "fifth brother", I was generally left on the outside looking in.
My Dad (and Mom) just didn't seem to know what to do with this spirited female misfit; and to make matters worse, I was apparently quite a bit like him . . . Stubborn. Opinionated. Self righteous. Passionate. My Dad, fortunately, was able to use most of these qualities in ways that others found helpful, motivating, and character building. Unfortunately for my Dad and me, these same qualities often just created conflict at the end of a very long day and even longer work week. Thankfully, by the Gentle Power and Correction of the Holy Spirit and by the Merciful Love and Grace of my Heavenly Father, these qualities are slowly but surely being removed and remolded for me into something more useful for ministry. . .
Had my Dad been able to balance his stronger personality traits with humility, gentleness, patience, praise, and affection, he would have had a much different relationship with his only daughter. I'm sure he sees that now; and I'm totally comforted with the knowledge that whatever was not perfect in my father on earth has now been made perfect in his new eternal home with the Savior we both love. In heaven, I will know forever the Dad I always wanted here.
If it's true, Dad, that the Saints in heaven watch over us and pray for those they loved on earth; I hope you can spare a prayer for me today God knows that prayer was the only thing that saw me through . . .
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the dozens of little miracles you wove together during the week of my father's passing and for the sustaining witness those miracles will be in the weeks to come. 

Dear Daughter of Estranged Father

Dear Readers ~ There are so many thoughts and feelings swarming my mind this month that I am completely overwhelmed. It leaves me speechless. That's a miracle. Please bear with me while I sort them out into something worth sharing. My earthly father, who reached out to hundreds in his professional career, went to his eternal home recently. We had a strained relationship to say the least; and it's difficult to know what to share when a parent dies and you are . . . well . . . relieved. Perhaps there's someone out there today who just needs to know that there's another adult child out there who feels deeply sad that they cannot really grieve for a parent who has passed on. When I get that strange truth sorted out properly, I will be back to share something worthwhile. Thank you for your patience and prayers. I am blessed by my friends and true loved ones this month.

Dear Teen in Trouble ~

Let me assure you, little Sister, that I have been through this agonizing situation myself in my twenties and later with my own daughter when she found herself in this terrifying situation in college. How I wish I could tell you that we both found the courage to save the lives of our unplanned children.

Sometimes all we can do to help another is to share our own mistakes and misunderstandings so that another does not fall into the same trap. I've had more than 25 years to ponder my own abortion decision; and I'd like you to have the benefit of my calm and deliberate review:

First and foremost, I made this life-altering decision EMOTIONALLY. But I only really allowed one emotion to prevail in the decision-making process: F E A R 

There's just no way to make a good, long-term decision out of fear.Fear itself will drive you to act selfishly and immediately; and this will automatically pit you AGAINST your own unborn child. You will be set up to view your unborn child as something literally life-threatening; and we are hard-wired for survival, in the wisdom of God, to eliminate or run from life-threatening situations. You will be ever-so-easily convinced that having this child will lead to everything from absolute financial ruin to sealing your fate as an old maid that no man will want to marry.

So it is imperative to find a way to examine this decision more rationally. The easiest way to do this is to seek out one or more women in whom you can confide comfortably. You will probably put more faith in the advice of an older woman who has already been through the situation than you will with someone who can only be sympathetic. There are excellent non-profit organizations in even small communities who can recommend someone to you. It will be very tempting to hide and to isolate, especially if you feel ashamed or guilty. Take your shame and guilt to a trusted Christian Sister and directly to your Heavenly Father, who is always ready to forgive.


Both my daughter and I felt intensely pressured to make a decision about our unborn babies in the first few weeks of our pregnancy. I beg you to avoid this emotional trap. When you are faced with any life-changing decision, it is always wiser in the long run to take the time to gather and process as much information as you can and (because you are a Christian) to pray until you know you have a clear answer from God.

I was completely duped (because I was very naive) by indifferent medical professionals who described the early formation of a human being in cold, sterile language that influenced me to think that I was simply discarding something as insignificant as a "mass of tissue" (like having cyst removed). Get an ultra sound right away and ask as many questions as you need to to fully understand what a newly forming baby feels as well as what features they have. Getting on the Internet is also a good way to take in information rationally rather than emotionally.

It's critical to channel your energy into education. Learn as much as you can -- just as you would with ANY medical procedure -- about the medical procedures and risks to terminate pregnancy and to bring your pregnancy to full term and delivery. Learn as much as you can about the week by week development of your unborn child. Gather information about your options for raising an infant/child after delivery, including supported motherhood, kin (family) fostering, and adoption.

Finally, my dear young Sister, I encourage you to pray about your motives. Had I realized that most of my own decision was made out of pride and an almost automatic sense of entitlement, I would never have made a decision to seek an abortion. The popular attitude that a woman has the "right" to end the life of another simply out of convenience for her own is the same heart attitude that contributes to child abuse, battered women's syndrome, and murder. I know that's a harsh statement; but is there any other way to see it? In the end, you make a conscious, willful choice to end the life of another human being. What circumstances, if any, make that moral and right in God's eyes?

I know this viewpoint is unpopular; and plenty will tell you it is "intolerant". Some will probably feel that this is much too harsh for you to hear at this time; but if you make a decision before you resolve this question, it will haunt you and your relationship with God for the rest of your life.

Before I leave you with much prayer on my heart, dear Sister, I want you to know that I faced this same decision again 20 years later. By the Amazing Grace of God, I was allowed another opportunity to make a better choice; and even though I suffered through the fear and everything I've described above, I made a decision I've never regretted since. And I have a precious, wonderful teenage son to brag about today.

God's best wisdom be yours today, precious Sister; and may you always know that You are forgiven and loved by your eternal Father and His precious Son, who created YOU just for Himself.

What does he spend his time and money on?

Dear Discouraged Single Sister ~ How well I understand. Christian men in this part of God's Country seem to want to meet "church girls" wearing Birkenstocks who can keep up with their high maintenance, toy-based lifestyle and worldly interests.

I'm surrounded by Christian guys even my age who still run 30 miles routinely and train for marathons year round -- not to mention hiking, biking, horseback riding, skiing, and snowmobiling. The rest are ranchers.

I'm exhausted just typing the list. And I enjoy an active lifestyle!

Dear Abba . . . Please match my mature sisters to someone who is passionately interested in what YOU are doing and what YOU want US (as part of a WE) to be doing. We promise to live a sensible, healthy, 'fasted lifestyle' and to remain fit and appealing to our Godly future mate.

Please, Dear Abba,  send us a grown up man who likes to read. We'd love to gaze across our morning latté at a man who is lost in a daily devotional.

After a day of labor that honors God, let us come together again to count our blessings or enjoy a prayer walk together. We might even engage in a thoughtful chat about John 4 verse five, six, seven . . . instead of pondering Peyton Manning's pass completion statistics . . .  

Later, as we ask a blessing over a light early dinner with sweet'n'low instrumental music playing in the background . . . .

Well, I for one have quite possibly checked out and gone to heaven.

So please, Abba, could you arrange for some of my days to turn out like that with a confident, humorous, faithful man who would also enjoy some days like that?

In the Name of my Faithful Savior ~

{And some of God's Helpmates To Be said . . . .}

Dear "Who'd Want to Go To Heaven Anyway" ~

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doc, I'm afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the Doctor said, "I don't really know."

"You don't know!?" the patient exclaimed. "You're a Christian man; and you don't know what's on the other side?"

Doc crossed the room and gently held the handle of the door. On the other side came a scratching sound and then whining. The moment Doc opened the door, a beautiful retriever burst into the room, leaped toward him dancing on his hind legs, and did his dog-gone best to lick the Doctor's face.

Turning to his patient, Doc asked, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He had no idea what would be inside. But he did know his Master was on the other side of the door."

Stroking the retriever who now lay at his feet, the Doctor added, "I know little of what is on the other side of death. I only know my Master is there. And that is enough."

Dear Loves Me for My Looks ~

You go G!
Kidvid may be "kidding" but if MANY of the men on Christian dating sites got real with the women on Christian dating sites, that's EXACTLY what we would find them praying for!
Please, Men of God who are my age! Take a full length mirror reality check. Then ask yourself, "Why Would a 30-Something (or even a 40 something?) sweetie Pick YOU?" Just sayin'. . .!

Perhaps it's fortunate that men OR women who choose this way of judging Christian singles are weeding themselves out. In the long run, men who place such high priority on this screening criteria do ME a great favor -- in this one early decision, they have already caused me doubt their maturity for spiritual leadership in a long term relationship.

Generally speaking, Godly Gentlemen, the woman you will be spending the rest of your life with will already outlive you by ten or more years and will probably always be in better health. But I tremble to think what a man who is that caught up in appearances might think of me if I ended up with breast cancer . . . Or worse! What he might DO with me if I developed altzheimers . . .

Thanks for opening this one up, sisters! I've been waiting to vent a little too . . . No holds barred

Your Sympathetic Sis

Dear Smiles . . .

Let me give you this much encouragement, Smiles . . . There is great wisdom even in the title of your prayer request! You are wise enough to know (by faith) that God's Direction is better than anyone else's. And you also recognize where some of your struggle lies, as it does for all of us -- letting go and letting God.

About six months ago, my relatively new boyfriend, who is a pilot, (I'll call him Captain) took me out for my first small airplane ride, which I thought I was fairly well prepared for. The plane has something called dual controls, which means that at any time both the pilot and navigator agree, the controls can be exchanged from one to anothe.

After only ten minutes of flying, Captain turned over the controls to me in order to load his camera. As long as I could see all the way around and out over the horizon, I was only slighly terrified. But when I had to pull up to gain altitude, I suddenly couldn't see anything! I was ready to turn the controls back over in a nano-second.

Needless to say, Captain had hours upon hours of simulated flying ON THE GROUND and then with an instructor (just as we first do to drive!)

Now Captain has many many years of experience taking off and flying and landing BLIND, using only instruments to tell him when hs is level, turning, climbing, or decending. Even in great turbulence, at night, and through unnerving weather, it takes a lot to shake his confidence in the INSTRUMENTATION. Captain wouldn't THINK of relying on his FEELINGS to keep the plane level or on course; FEELINGS are not trustworthy. And take it from me, they can cause you to crash.

I hope this is helpful to you today and for the future ~

Dear Concerned About Intimacy Before Marriage

Lessons learned from taking the field trip instead of just accepting wisdom from the Word of God ~

The boundaries God has graciously provided in his Word regarding intimacy are there to protect the vulnerability of women; and choosing to cross them or "double cross them" will ultimately destroy the respesct and love that might have otherwise been the greatest blessing in a relationship.

Until we are married, Sisters, men are our brothers. So in my humble opinion the safest response -- and one which leaves no margin for misinterpretation by anyone -- is that if it's acceptable physical contact from your brother, it's acceptable in the dating relationship. Look forward to all other moments of passion, great or small, as gifts of marital bonding.

I've blown this one again myself by lowering the bar "just a little". This is one of the more difficult "tests" of spiritual maturity and it should be up to the gentle-man in the relationship to put a woman at ease about matters of intimacy during courtship. How they handle this holiness assignment may tell you a great deal about how they will handle other matters of spiritual maturity in their household. Experience has taught me that no matter how "compatible" everything else is, unless and until you can trust the man you love to be the spiritual leader in the home you hope to build together, eventually it all falls apart. Men can tell when a woman has lost respect, and security in intimacy is a foundation stone of respect for a  woman.
Hope this saves someone from certain heartache . . . 

Dear Looking for Love Long Distance

If I may humbly chime in here, LD, I think there is perhaps a little scriptural cherry picking going on here . . .

I think you certainly have the SPIRIT of God's heart here; but there are some events in the story of Rebecca that your conclusion doesn't fully address.

One is that Rebeccah was willing to go back USING THE TRANSPORTATION PROVIDED. And she also had AN APPROPRIATE PLACE to stay for SEVEN YEARS before she married the man God had meant to be her Adam. And, I think the story also states that she was given quite a lot of "incentive" (see jewels and gifts) to trust that she was being given to a man who could provide once she was there.

And what DO we do with the fact that Rebecca's "fiance" CHEERFULLY SLAVED for his nemesis for SEVEN YEARS to win his bride? (There's another whole subject for a post about that . . .!)

I chose this story to answer your concerns, because it gets to the heart of the difficulty for hopeful single Christian women to meet suitable, sold out Christian men who would otherwise probably make great future mates . . . but who live 200 to 2000 miles away!
If God had no problem with Isaac happily sending out his messengers to search for a bride, would He oppose Godly men men sending out "e-messages" for the same purpose? I have my doubts.

But I DO think He still expects a man of God to be clear about whether they even have a camel to send, and whether they have a safe and Biblically appropriate plan for when she "agrees to come".

Until then, there's the more affordable, practical approach called "Skype"?

Lovingly submitted ~

Dear Christian "EX" and friends ~

Let's look at our painful but probably prayerful options through this viewpoint: Who is your "ex" to God?

The God we serve is a God of Long Suffering Reconciliation, (of which this daughter is proof) and He has given us (if we answer to His Son and to the Holy Spirit) this primary Ministry of Reconciliation as well.

If OT and NT Christians are our example, reconciliation is accomplished when some level of relationship is restored . . . each has released the other from the pains and debts of the past and can fellowship comfortably. Ideally the relationship itself (friend/friend; husband/wife; father/son) is restored fully as well.

My walk with God may be unique; but He seems determined to limit my input to and cooperation with this process to what He wants me to do and to think about and to repair. And He sets the bar high.

My first and greatest hurdle is always my own hurt. I suspect this is especially true of women, because we are more easily and deeply wounded by others.  Emotional wounds have physical pains; and these cry to my thoughts day and night, preventing the Godly DESIRE for reconciliation on any level. The longer and deeper the investment in another, and the greater the acts of betrayal; the greater the pain that drives me away from forgiveness.

For someone as touchy and stubborn as I am, it usually takes a long season of fellowship in bible study, the conviction upon gentle conviction of devotionals and pastoral messages, and tenderizing in tearful worship services before I can even hear God with the right heart attitude about someone who has offended or betrayed  me. But just as He is healing my newly injured foot one cell and one layer at a time (which burns!) I begin to see that the pain IS the healing and I agree to cooperate with the treatment (which burns!).
Beware those who indulge your grudges and encourage your grievances about another. Seek the wisdom and spiritual maturity of those who have rebuilt, restored, and made restitutiion -- even to those who have been the greater transgressor. They have honored their God.

Beware the previously married man or woman who has yet to come to that place in their divorce diatribe where they can speak of how they wounded the other party. They are wounded still and have refused treatment. They are not able to honor anyone.

GOT BURNED?

What do you get when you mix flames, bare feet, and fatigue? A taste of life's painful consequences that can teach someone as fiery as me about miracles, about Divine appointments, and about putting out emotional fires when the enemy of my soul is still fanning the flames.

I actually attempted to put out a fire on my deck in bare feet in 14 below zero weather by myself last week (which explains the lack of activity on my blog of late). My daughter drove from Wyoming to the burn unit in Colorado to show me photos of my blackened footprints on the deck.

I later told my pastor I burned my foot stepping in front of the angel who was clearly containing the fire on one side while another guardian angel held my petroleum-based polyester pants away from my skin as they melted from my arch to my calf. 

Prayers were ordered before pain killers, which I somehow never needed, in spite of what doctors believed were third-degree burns across the pads of my toes. None of the melted black plastic material adhered to my skin; so prayers also canceled the surgeon when I finally arrived at the burn center 6 hours later.  Just 40 hours later, I was free to laugh and feast with my other daughter  -- a police academy student, whom I hadn't seen in months. Out of the ashes -- a family reunion. Without boyfriends. A double miracle.

Home to prop up my burned foot and heal, I found myself dozing on the other end of that same smoked deck, thankfully texting this note:

"What could be better for healing than resting on deck cushions in melting-away-winter sun with the bluffing of horses and chickadee chatter for music?"

And then the still soft voice of God posed this question: "Wonder what would feel that way when you get burned by those you love?"

Here's my prayerful answer: "What could be better for healing than resting in the melting-away-winter Son with the bluffing of horses and chickadee chatter for music?"

So, even though I "got burned" on Valentine's Day and even though I'm still fuming about it today, I have a remedy. 

If you don't have Him, you only have pain killers. 

Dear Black Knight and Friends ~

Wow! Young Christian men and women are certainly dwelling on deep theological issues! I'm impressed!

This ever-so-sensitive subject of suicide got me wondering as well ~ especially when I found a post by another young man on a Christian chat forum who sounds like he is only moments away from heading the wrong way down that one way road.
So, Sir Knight and friends, here's something more to wonder about . . .

If it's 'adultery' just to look upon a woman other than your wife and to imagine intimacy with her (remember when Jesus raised the bar in this NT conversation?) where do you think Jesus might set the bar in this case?

Wouldn't just 'contemplating suicide' be sinful in itself? It certainly doesn't make the list of things God commanded us to "think upon". [If you are not a Christian, you may be surprised to learn that there actually is a list of things we are commanded to think upon for our mental and emotional health!] 

Taking a life that isn't yours (if you have promised it to Jesus for saving yours) or that God hasn't commanded you to take (as he sometimes did in the Old Testament) is overriding His perfect plans and purposes.

My adult daughters would be the first to tell you that it is not difficult, especially for women, to 'go down this lonely road in your heart and head when you are grieving deeply, feeling completely overwhelmed, or suffering tremendously physically.

I'm forever thankful that Jesus did not ask anyone in the crowed along His road to Calvary to put Him out of his incomparable and quite certain misery . . .

Aren't you?

Encouragement for Smiles (and others taking flight in Faith)

Let me give you this much encouragement, Smiles . . .

There is great wisdom even in the title of your prayer request! You are wise enough to know (by faith) that God's Direction is better than anyone else's. And you also recognize where some of your struggle lies, as it does for all of us -- letting go and letting God.

A few months ago, my relatively new boyfriend, who is a pilot, (I'll call him Captain) took me out for my first small airplane ride, which I thought I was fairly well prepared for. The plane has something called dual controls, which means that at any time both the pilot and navigator agree, the controls can be exchanged from one to another. After only ten minutes of flying, Captain turned over the controls to me in order to load the camera.

As long as I could see all the way around and out over the horizon, I was only slightly terrified. But when I had to pull up to gain altitude, I suddenly couldn't see anything! I was ready to turn the controls back over in a nano-second.

Needless to say, Captain had hours upon hours of simulated flying ON THE GROUND and then with an instructor (just as we first do to drive!) Captain now has many many years of experience taking off and flying and landing BLIND, using only INSTRUMENTS to tell him when he is level, turning, climbing, or descending. Even in great turbulence, at night, and through unnerving weather, it takes a lot to shake his confidence in the plane's INSTRUMENTATION. He wouldn't THINK of relying on his FEELINGS to keep the plane level or on course.

FEELINGS are not trustworthy. And they can cause you to crash.

I hope this is helpful to you today and for the future ~
Your Sister ~ Val

Dear Abba ~ Wisdom for the Wounded Soul

When I was a teen, I was a faithful fan of the syndicated column, "Dear Abby". I was sure when Abby retired I would be contacted to take her place. The phone from the media moguls has never rung . . . Perhaps I've heard why from the Advisor on High . . .

Perhaps there's a need for "Dear Abba". The Greek word "Abba" is "Daddy". It is this name, Abba, with which Christians believe their God has asked them to address Him. For those of you fortunate to have a close, trusting relationship with your own father, it's no doubt the endearment you use even as an adult when you want his loving smile to mirror yours. This is a deep and global desire.

The closest one who does not yet have a divine "Abba" can come to this precious relationship is the lap of the magical benefactor, Santa Claus. Impressive, to be sure, to children under the age of ten; but eventually life demands of us a more frequently available lap and a less materialistic wish list if we hope to grow spiritually and emotionally as well as physically.

To keep growing -- to mature -- declares the ever- reliable Beth Moore requires

"a shift in what impresses me"
Let that permeate your thoughts until it dissolves into your heart . . . even if you are not yet 'spiritual'. If you can accept this, even momentarily, as a fairly solid test of 'maturity', the next question practically asks itself: "So . . . am I 'mature-ing'?"

One could make a strong case that the process of 'mature-ing' reveals itself one decision, one response at a time. This is why pastors strongly encourage their church members to "seek wise counsel" before making decisions that may impact the lives of dozens of others.

Ideally, wise counsel should come from counselors who seek Wisdom. Those of us who have tried (and tried and tried) our own wisdom can share with you the special heartache of that -- in spades. Those of us who have trusted the wisdom of so called "friends", "leaders", "analyzers" and (dare I say it) American Idols can testify to the dreadful futility of that.

For the crisis of conscience we each face day after day, I can only recommend to you Abba --My Wise Daddy. His advice is typically painful to hear and even more difficult to use as prescribed. I assure you that, if taken as directed, it will prevent terminal spiritual, emotional, and even physical disease. I assure you also that, as you lay your challenges before me to ponder, I am swallowing the same bitter pill that I may recommend from Him to you.

Whether you are any sort of "believer" or not, let me lay the heart of Abba's over the decision that keeps you awake at night . . . that leaves you immobilized by guilt or fear . . . that brings turmoil or -- worse -- silent separation to your home.

What have you got to lose? Leave your frustration, your indignation, your "What Should I Do" in the comment box of this blog. Or, if you prefer privacy, email them to me at vkjewell2002@yahoo.com.